The terrible patch notes for FFXIV 3.1

ffxiv_patch3.1

  • The Gold Saucer isn’t doing nearly as well as it once was, and it’s starting to show. We’ve now removed designated smoking sections from it so the entire area has barely breathable air. We’ve also added NPCs who are 70+ (and addicted to pachinko so you’ll never get your turn), and added an NPC who sells heavily breaded chocobo wings. Unless circulation picks up, we’ll have to add a red light district and yes, Lalafells will cost double for a ZJ.
  • We really don’t understand how so many people are having trouble transitioning to DirectX 11, but we’ve added a tech support forum for those who need it.
  • The Churning Mists and Northern Thanalan have run out of FATEs. Twin-tongued Addison and Darkscale have given up.
  • The status effect “Walking Dead” has now been changed to “I LIVE, I DIE, I LIVE AGAIN”
  • A new main story questline has been added. In this questline, a hideous Lalafell named Don Aldtrump who owns the goldsmith’s guild (and pretty much all of Ul’dah), runs for sultan, claiming that Doman refugees are all rapists.
  • We’ve had some complaints that Hildibrand’s questlines are a little too clowny and childish. Naturally, we’ve oscillated way too far in the opposite direction and now Hildibrand’s quests are all based directly off of “True Detective.” All dialogue is a mixture of true swampfolk lines mentioned in the show and lines from the character Early from “Squidbillies.”
  • That one ho who gave Nanamo her goblet has been renamed to “Olly.”
  • We’ve added the ability to travel on your airships. You will always be seated in front of someone with twin babies with digestive and behavioral problems.
  • The Futurama episode “Jurassic Bark” will play upon login for all people who have left their chocobo companions stabled since they got them.
  • There is now a note in each one of your rooms in the FC house on the refrigerator which reads “It’s okay, I didn’t need a call from you anyway. Been sitting around waiting for unspoiled nodes, sure, but when it comes to taking a second on the linkpearl, suddenly you’re too busy saving the world. Signed, your mother.” You’ll probably still miss it anyway.
  • Added a “tackle box” inventory tab as an optional item for 100 dollars. You won’t buy it on the first day, but you’ll eventually break down and buy it because you’re used to spending money on superfluous things like skins and rune pages.
  • We’ve had some complaints that people have had varying amounts of “fun” experienced with this game and we’ve determined that it’s all because of RNG and luck. To counteract this variation, we’ve added “fun” tokens that you can cash out for “fun” once you have 10 of them. You should be familiar with this system by now, since it’s basically used for fucking everything now, because some people just can’t cope with the fact that they just have been unlucky a couple times.
  • We know there’s really not a reason for materia since crafting is useless right now, so we’ve made materia able to be consumed as a result. Upon your first consumption, your character will immediately get mako eyes, have their name changed to XxdAnKkNigHt SeFiRoTtH420xX, and get high as shit. If you don’t consume more materia within two game days, you will get some bad shakes and be hit with a permanent “Brink of Death” debuff. Elemental resistance materia will straight fuck you up.
  • When you active the Haukke Manor Harpsichord, it now accurately plays all of the songs that you know how to play (basically, it plays the opening to “Chopsticks”)
  • You can now desynth food. It’s actually kind of sad that it took your character this look to realize that all they have to do is take the food off of the plate and it’s been successfully desynthesized.
  • The moogles have been so overjoyed with all of their tedious chores being done that they’ve all taken a break and copulated. Every moogle now has a seemingly endless sea of chores available to you (it’s basically babysitting), and all the babies ALSO have chores as well (change my diaper. 200 gil reward). The most common feedback we received this patch was “We want to ki__ every moogle we see (the letters were smudged with tears of apparent joy) and we assumed the missing word was “kiss” or “kindly take care of forever”.
  • The Thavnarian Bustier now comes with a tramp stamp added on because we noticed a theme in what people wanted to see out of their Miqotes.
  • We’ve put the Alexander soundtrack on an even shorter loop SINCE EVERYONE LOVED IT SO MUCH, and just went ahead and replaced the A4 soundtrack with “Chop Suey” because we know that 6th grade came rushing back to you every time you heard that song anyway.

FFXIV Patch 3.05 PVP Job Guide:Healers

Now that the new PvP mode, Seize, has been out for a couple of days, here is the general impression I’ve gathered on the performance of the different classes. Primarily, this is an evaluation of how the classes fare at level 60, moreso than their direct impact to success in the new mode which relies mostly on human factors than class compositions in DF.Then let’s tall something about Healder

ffxiv_healer

White Mage
The addition of more accessible instant-cast heals, tetragrammaton (60s) and assize (90s), provided the white mage with a lot of utility and healing power in PvP. Additionally, asylum provides another ground AoE HoT in addition to sacred prism, both of which provide a strategic advantage to your group when fighting over a contested node. The clumped fights that occur in the new mode also allow for cure III to shine in certain environments as well, while the strong HoTs of regen and medica II boosted by divine seal lets the white mage to “heal” their party even when being focused. White mage also has access to repose, blizzard 2’s AoE root, stone I’s heavy, fluid aura’s knockback and root, and holy’s AoE stun, making up a plethora of crowd control abilities and utility that can be used to assist your party, or as tools for self-peel when you’re being targeted. Despite this, white mages fare the most poorly without a co-healer in their party, simply due to the lack of spammable instant healing tools outside of HoTs. A white mage is extremely easy to lock down compared to the other two healers, and even if they don’t die, their party is no longer receiving any healing as long as the white mage is being pursued.

Scholars
Scholars did not change much post-50, however they remain extremely strong as PvP healers, and a skilled scholar is still impossible to kill without coordination. Lustrate remains as the strongest healing skill in the game, being able to instantly burst heal anyone back to full on an oGCD instant cast. The presence of a fairy serves as a consistent non-stop healing factory, and allows for scholars to provide healing to teammates or themselves, in addition to lustrate, even when they’re being focused down by melee or interrupted by ranged. Adloquium is an extremely strong skill that prevents cast interruptions as long as it’s up, and can be used on melee LB targets to prevent OHKOs, following which lustrate can then be used to top them back to healthy levels of HP. Deployment tactics is extremely powerful for spreading eye for eye or crit adlo to your entire party, providing an extremely powerful effective HP advantage in combat. Scholar has also access to blizzard 2 for an AoE root, aura blast for AoE knockback, and traited virus to reduce incoming burst. I strongly considered scholars the best healer (compared to white mages) back in 2.0 PvP, and this opinion hasn’t changed in the new seize mode.

Astrologian
Despite the controversy of their viability as a healer in PvE content, astrologians are extremely powerful healers in PvP. This is due to the fact that they have access to “high” potency heals in both benefic II and helios, while still having access to shields via nocturnal stance, and a spammable instant cast heal in aspected benefic. Additionally, it’s possible to pre-shield parties right before battle, and switching to diurnal stance to stack the regen as well (or vice versa). Aspected benefic in nocturnal stance essentially serves as a 260 potency instant-cast adloquium, while essential dignity is an instant-cast heal that reaches upwards of 1000 potency on a 40s cooldown. The recent buff to lightspeed has made this skill the most powerful healer-cooldown in PvP, allowing for all heals to become instant over 10s, whilst also reducing their mp cost by 25% with no potency loss (150s cooldown). Stella provides a ranged 40% heavy, celestial opposition provides a 2s AoE stun, while retrogradation is a completely overloaded skill that heals and esuna’s party members, while damaging and dispelling enemy buffs. In addition to this, the main feature of the astrologian, their cards, has a significant impact in PvP as well. Balance or arrow used on a fever / high DPS during their burst rotation is simply insane, while bole serves as a great buff for tanks or dps charging into the frontlines, and spear is really strong due to the long cooldowns of PvP abilities. Ewer and spire are less powerful cards to draw, but can be useful as well in drawn out fights.

The importance of FFXIV gil in Heavensward

Making FFXIV gil has actually constantly seemed to be on top of every Final Fantasy XIV players to do listing. And also many of the moment it appears that enough FFXIV gil is constantly out of grasp. 5000 gold for impressive flying or 8000 gold for that new remarkable item of gear is all I need.

ffxiv heavensward

Despite the factor, the reality stays that FFXIV gil is the daily program for Final Fantasy XIV gamers. There are a couple of keys that lots of people may recognize around, however do not use to their full potential primarily due to the fact that they simply do not know ways to yet.

Secret 1 – Professions are consistently visiting make you gold. That is no trick, yet exactly what is, is that at any time of the day you could make gold with them. If you don’t seem like going out as well as Gold Farming, then remain in a city as well as promote your crafts! Or go to the AH and view if the materials are much cheaper than several of your best patterns and offer them commercial.

Secret 2 – FFXIV gil can also be made by helping much lower degree toons. Much more times compared to not, lesser degree toons are alt personalities and they already have gold. Something they love the idea of, is not having to help their levels. So running lesser degree instances as well as having lowbies pay you for it, is a great method to make gold. Charge everyone, as much as 4, for every run as well as you could make hundreds of gold in simply a number of instance runs.

Secret 3 – The Auction House is the trick for all FFXIV gil seekers. The quantity of gold to be made below is unlimited. Buying affordable as well as costing even more has actually always been a terrific way to make gold. So start viewing prices as well as figure out just what is thought about high for some and also low for others. Attempt cornering the market on an item and also making all the gold you can from it.

These gold secrets are really effective as well as can quickly make you anyone loads of gold if a little initiative is taken into them. FFXIV gil problems might be a distant memory if these gold keys are placed to great use.

Making hundreds of FFXIV gil whether you are brand-new to the game or skilled is quite available. Quit assuming the very best you could do is hardly manage with sufficient gold to pay your maintenance and repair expense and visit this great gold guide. They have put with each other the leading methods, techniques and also tricks in one understandable quick guide that will certainly assist you make all the FFXIV gil that you might ever before desire! If you prepare to start your quest to your FFXIV gil ton of money, after that make certain to have a look at Final Fantasy XIV Gold Blueprint!

FFXIV Heavensward Dungeon Guide:The Great Gubal Library

The Great Gubal Library is the fourth dungeon you unlock in the Heavenswardexpansion. You unlock this dungeon at level 59. Keep in mind, every dungeon from Vault to the end will be hard on the tanks as far as incoming damage. Even with mitigation abilities, some of the enemies will put out a lot of damage.

ffxiv_guide

Demon Tome:

This is practically Demon Wall from Amdapoor Keep, with a twist, literally. Instead of encroaching on the player’s available combat space, players will rotate to the other side of the room.

Attacks:
  • Purple Goo Bars: (Not sure what the actual name is.) Just Like Demon Wall, Demon Tome does the alternating columns of purple. Getting caught in one will apply heavy and slow on the player.
  • Dark Blizzard III: A ground circle AoE, usually cast during the purple columns.
  • Repel: Another return from Demon Wall, it’s a full distance knockback. Luckily in this fight there is no edge for you to fall off.
  • Disclosure: Demon Tome closes and after a short time reopens. If you don’t move to the other side of the bridge in time, you will die. After reopening, Demon Tome will spin around to face the other direction. If you’re too close, you’ll be knocked back and take damage.
  • Words of Winter: Every time except the first time, Demon Tome will use this after Repel. The first time he’ll use it mid rotation after the first Disclosure. Words of Winter freezes the floor, if you try to move while the floor is frozen, then you’ll slide. While sliding and shortly afterwards you’ll be unable to perform any abilities.

Byblos:

Byblos is the second boss of the dungeon. It’s not overly difficult, but there is a lot of room for error. However, making errors in this fight will make it a lot harder as Byblos will do more damage.

Attacks:
  • Page Tear: A frontal cleave doing moderate damage.
  • Head Down: A straight line AoE charge. It appears to target a non-tank player at random, no matter how far away they are. You can shorten the distance of the charge by running to Byblos. Upon casting it also knocks the player back.
  • Tail Smash: Appears to work the same way as Snakes in Coil turn one, stand behind the boss to trigger a backwards attack.
  • Bone Shaker: At certain stages throughout the fight, Byblos will jump to the book. During this time a pair of Page 64 mobs will spawn. Unlike their normal versions, these have telegraphed lasers and no tether. While you fight the Page 64 enemies, Byblos will periodically use Bone Shaker dealing room wide AoE and applying a stack of vulnerability up.
  • Tether Orbs: After you kill the Page 64 enemies, two players will receive a tether connected to an orb. The player needs to position themselves on the other side of Byblos so that the orb will connect with him and push him off the book. If you fail to do this, the Bone Shaker phase will repeat.
  • Gale Cut: Byblos places wind orbs around the room, just avoid them and continue the battle.

The Everliving Bibliotaph:

This fight is by far the easiest in the dungeon. It’s more time-consuming than anything else because the DPS have to completely stop at points to deal with a summoning mechanic.

Attacks:
  • Thrub: A frontal cleave dealing moderate damage.
  • Void Call: This is the major mechanic of the fight. During the cast, lights will appear on the plates around the room. The first cast the plates will have one light each. The second cast plates will have two lights. The third cast two plates will light up with three lights. To turn off the lights, you need a number of people equal to the lights to step on the plate until a chain appears. If you fail to make the chain appear on a plate, it will summon an add. The third cast has to be fully prevented, or the adds will perform an AoE cast.
  • Orbs: Players will get a mark over their head. If you get this mark, run to the edge of the room and stand between two plates to drop the orb. These orbs pulsate damage in an area around them, and adds a stack vulnerability up.
  • Deep Darkness: A room-wide AoE with a safe zone in the center.
  • Magic Burst: The exact opposite of Deep Darkness.

 

Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward new jobs leveling tips

Providing tips on how to level up faster, this guide should also come in handy for those levelling up new jobs or perhaps trying to grind from level 50-60.

ffxiv

– The exp you get from dungeons will really help with leveling up. I know this sounds simple and boring, but the best thing to do is to grind the dungeons over and over again. This will help you out with gear and will boost your level up too. Also there is a challenge for beating five dungeons in a week which will grant a slight bonus xp.

– Daily Roulettes will be a god send when leveling up, giving a massive exp boost at the end of the dungeons; and, if you are level 60, it will also give tomestones of Law and you will also get a nice amount of gil. There is also a challenge that will give you even more exp once you have done three dungeons in the roulette which again provides a nice boost in experience points.

– Do Leve quests. These aren’t great for experience points, especially as they take some time to recharge, but they are really good experience even they do take some time. I would say never do the new temple leves until they have been changed because they cost 10 but give less than the amount you would get from the individual quests. This will take longer but it’s a lot more efficient.

– Do your daily hunts. These can be acquired in the old areas. The new Ishgard hunts start at level 52 and will give you a decent amount of experience points and seals every day. After 52 you get another rank at 54 and 56 which will give you even more seals and xp. You need the seals to upgrade your Law equipment from 170-180.

– Do all the side quests. The side quests reward you with good equipment that will help you upgrade if you have been unlucky in the dungeons. There are an insane amount of sidequests in this expansion so this was my main way to level up. You will spend a lot of time in the churning mists as a result.

– If you really have to, or are leveling a job under 50, then do FATEs. These give a decent amount of xp (1-50) but they become almost useless after level 50. Also do not bother with the coerthas fates and instead go to Northern Thanalan where the xp will be faster and higher than the new area. There is also a new sightseeing log which will give you some experience points, but you need to be able to fly in the areas. Just find an area with a blue glow and do /lookout or /pray in the new zones – this is a lot easier than the previous sightseeing log.

Tricks to FFXIV Heavensward Sohm Al Dungeon Guide

Sohm Al is the second dungeon of theHeavensward expansion. You’ll unlock this dungeon at around level 53 to 54. There are some familiar mechanics in this dungeon, as well as some new. Of the first four dungeons, I’d say this is the easiest.

ffxiv dungeon

 

Raskovnik:

Raskovnik bears not only a visual resemblance to Rafflessia, but also shares similar mechanics. The dev team mixed it up a little by changing a few things though, so don’t fear falling into repetition.

Attacks:
  • Bloody Caress: A frontal cleave dealing moderate damage.
  • Acid Rain: A multiple, small circle AoE.
  • Phytobeam: A wide, straight line AoE attack.
  • Sweet Scent: Marks a player. Bees will start spawning after Sweet Scent. Unlike in Coil Turn 6, these bees will go straight to Raskovnik. Upon reaching the boss, the boss will eat them. To remove the mark, remain in front of the boss and it will pull you in, dropping the mark from you.
  • Devour: Eats everything in the AoE circle, including bees. If Raskovnik eats something it will get a stacking damage amplification buff. Bees need to be burned down to prevent this from happening. Even the tank should be helping kill bees as the boss doesn’t really do anything else during this.
  • Spit: Follows Devour if the boss eats something, and is a room wide AoE.
  • Leafstorm: A moderate damage room wide AoE.

Myath:

Myath is a larger version of one of the new monster types in FFXIV. There are actually two ways to beat this boss. The first is to just burn the boss, provided your DPS can handle it. The second is to prioritize killing the red slimes and green slime.

Attacks:
  • Third Leg Forward: Myath attacks with its tail for considerable damage.
  • Overbite: Another heavy-hitting attack.
  • Razor Scales: A large conal AoE attack.
  • Primordial Roar: The first time Myath summons just blue and red slimes. During the second Roar Myath will also summon a larger green slime. The green slime has to die if you’re not using the burn strategy, as it does a wide AoE dealing heavy damage. The others don’t seem to do anything on their own.
  • Mad Dash: After summoning the slimes, Myath will jump around to them randomly and throw them with his tail. The blue slime does only moderate damage the red does heavy damage. You can tell what slime he is throwing and at who by the target marker. Generally if he throws a red slime all players need to stack and soak the damage. However, a tank can solo soak this damage as well, if they are the target.

Tioman:

Tioman is the final boss of Sohm Al. While this fight isn’t actually difficult, there is a lot going on. Players need to pay close attention to the telegraphs and targeting icons.

Attacks:
  • Abyssic Buster: A fire cleave attack dealing moderate damage.
  • Chaos Blast: This attack does line and circle AoE attacks, be sure to watch your step on this attack.
  • Comet: Tioman will target two of the non-tank players and drop comets on them. These should be dropped on the opposite side of the room from the tank, away from each other. Upon impact these comets will do a very large AoE that do considerable damage and can overlap doing double damage. During this attack, random ground circle AoE attacks are happening all over the room as well. After wing phase all three non-tank players will be targeted with Comet.
  • Wing Phase: At 50% Tioman will go to the center of the room and become invulnerable. During this time you need to attack her wings.
  • Heavensfall: During the wing phase, Tioman will randomly target players with Heavensfall, which consists of multiple AoE circles, be sure to move away from other players.
  • Dark Star: Tioman also starts using this attack during the wing phase. It’s a room wide attack that deals moderate damage.

That wraps up Sohm Al, hopefully this gives you a good understanding of the dungeon.

Guide to Heavensward: Early Access

Heavensward has come out and we’re all excited to watch everyone play it besides us. All of these changes that we won’t get to see for a while have made us more elitist than ever. This guide will show you how to embrace the early access and get ready for The Binding Coil of Alexander: Rebirth – Genesys (This time it’s for The Watch).

ffxiv_heavensward

Preparation:
You. Are not. Preparrrred.
Seriously, there’s nothing you can do. Go to Start, search for cmd.exe and type in “sugarpill /flushmysanity”. Do this every time your client exits. If you do it right, you should be too blind to read this from the depth perception changes of looking at your one-time password and the computer screen incessantly because this will not work on your first time, and if it did, it was probably going to work anyway. Let’s face it, though. You’re superstitious and even though you know this isn’t helping you, you’re going to do this step every single time anyway. Because it could, right? RIGHT?! I’ve found that this step does work better though when I wear a Power Balance band around each wrist and (stay with me here, because it WORKS!!! CONFIRMED) one around my dick. The trifecta of balance is so perfectly weighted that it inspires servers thousands of miles away to work properly. If it doesn’t work, consult Dr. Phil.

Turn 1:
The first bosses of Early Access are called error 2002 and error 5006. They come as a pair but you’ll only see one at any one time. Basically, anytime that you want to get on, they make sure that you can’t. They’re pretty much the digital version of bureaucrats in that you feel like you’ve done everything right but you still spend hours caught up in red tape and congestive nightmares. The best strategy I’ve seen with dealing with these is to just git gud. If you just connect better, you would be playing by now, wouldn’t you? Get your shit together.
You’ll want to budget maybe 5 hours a day for FFXIV. This way, you can play for maybe about a half hour. If you manage to get past these bosses, quit your job and fake your death (dental records should be pretty easy unless you live in an area where the dentist has bars over their window in which case your Internet probably isn’t good enough for this game anyway) because you can’t afford to log off the game until this turn gets nerfed (IMPORTANT NOTE: When faking death, do not real death or it will be a wipe).

Turn 2:
As soon as you log in, repeatedly ask where the Dark Knight quest giver is. You don’t want to play the class because they can’t use Blood Weapon while their tank stance is up, so what’s the point, but still ask where it is. You also don’t want to play Machinist because apparently they’re using 0.22’s. You also don’t want to play Astrologian because that’s a healer, and healers are for girls and casuals. It only has a few low damage skills and no fairy to heal for you. You can’t kill shit by healing allies. It actually doesn’t work. Stick with bard or idk. Dark Knight or whatever. Bard doesn’t have to bother with that ‘moving’ mechanic anymore, and Dark Knight was in the benchmark, and you can fantasia into an Au Ra so you’ll be a dragon knight of darkness named xXInuYaShADARKNEssXx and you can make macros that say “CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES, THIS IS MY [Darkside]”

Turn 3:
Set your homepoint at every new aetheryte, because there is going to be a lot of running back and forth for quests. It’s very common for you to have overlooked a piece of sparkling blue debris, and teleports cost like in the triple digits now. Death gives a free teleport (YOU’RE WELCOME), and teleporting is faster than running (which is your only other option, because you’re going to spam leves and Dusk Vigil until you’re 60 because it’s a race and flying is stupid). Death is probably the most economical way to transport yourself. Standing still and waiting for the cold embrace of death also gives you time to bitch about Turn 1 or the fact that flying is only given to you at the end of an area, and that your time is too precious to be delivering tea and sandwiches to Goblins that ran away from home.

This is pretty much everything to note about Early Access. There are some pretty big changes to the existing classes that I didn’t go over, most notably Dragoon, but I would be wasting my time writing anything about it, because everyone knows that Dragoons can’t read anyway.